Society Wonders How Brainrot Content Came About When Kids Grew Up Watching Worthless Slop Like This

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Local parents who were themselves raised on the slow, gently narrated children's television of the 90s have this week expressed confusion over how their kids developed a taste for hyperactive "brainrot content", despite having grown up on a steady diet of brightly coloured, fast-cut CGI rescue dogs and endlessly rebooted animated franchises.

The town's collective soul-searching follows renewed anxiety about attention spans, dopamine loops and teens who appear physically incapable of watching anything longer than 14 seconds without train surfing footage playing underneath it.

"I don’t get it," said Betoota Heights mum Jessica Ralston,vwho grew up on sedate model trains and underpaid actors in banana suits.

"We barely had background music in our shows. It was calming. Thoughtful. Educational. Brum was as lairy as it got!"

Ralston confirmed her own children spent much of their formative years watching high-saturation streaming content designed for autoplay, rapid scene transitions and maximum toy sale.

"But that was just kids’ TV," she said.

"It wasn’t brainrot. Even though I'd rather microwave myself than watch another episode of Paw Patrol,"

"But you should see the shit my kids are watching on YouTube. They have that dancing baby from Ally McBeal doing the macarena in front of like 40 CGI cats doing it, and my kids watch that and want to do the macarena, too. What the fuck is this shit? Who makes it."

Our reporter indicated they didn't know, this masthead only produces brainrot journalism.

More to come.