Social Butterfly Cackles After Boring Tinder Match Thinks He’s A Chance For A Date Before New Years

KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT

A local all-girls sharehouse is in stitches tonight after playing a communal game of “Look what this twat sent me on Tinder”.

Laying horizontal on the couch, with an old episode of Greys Anatomy playing idly on the TV, local social butterfly Harriet Winters has decided to spend the night reading out all the dumb pick up lines dud blokes have been sending her on Tinder.

After treating her housemates to some of the cheesiest or dullest lines she’s come across in her inbox, Harriet cackled after one “Damian”, a 32 year old who describes himself as an “outdoors lover”, asked if she’d like to go for a drink soon.

Despite boring her to tears with his bland chat about his favourite dog breeds and his current triathlon training schedule, “Dull Damian” seemed to think he was in with a chance.

“A date? At this time of year, he’s gotta be joking,” cackled Harriet, as she swiped back through his photos to make sure she wasn’t missing anything.

“Between now and Christmas I’ve got daily client lunches, about three different work adjacent Christmas parties, my own all-girls Christmas lunch, two outdoor gigs at the Betoota Parklands, one hens and at least one night on the couch with a green tea mask on my face.”

Asked whether Damian’s aioli level blandness had something to do with her disinterest, Harriet admitted he’s just not setting himself up for success, boring her to tears like this at such a pivotal time in the year.

“This guy is dull as dishwater, and he reckons I’ve got a spare night to visit a shitty wine bar?”

“The only man that’d be getting a date in between now and New Years would be Chris Hemsworth or Jonathon Bailey, and either of them would be lucky to get anything more than a coffee on my lunch break.”

“Also you can tell he’s used ChatGPT to write his bio, I haven’t got time for this…”