The Smell Of England Reaches Mainland Europe After Soap Dodgers Experience 33 Degree Day

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT

The European mainland is today buckling under another oppressive weather event.

On top of the much maligned heatwave that has spread across the continent, communities from Lisbon to Trondheim are now battling through disgusting gusts of body odour and bad breath.

The extremely pungent winds are a bizarre weather event that have blown across the English Channel, from Great Britain.

Europeans have reported stiffing wafts of curry sauce, gravy, and lager as well as severe human body odour that cannot be escaped or filtered out by air conditioning.

Local meteorologist Bo Ohm explained to The Advocate how the curious weather pattern has developed.

“It’s a really peculiar phenomenon that eventuates once every couple of years,” said Bo.

“When the conditions are still and the temperature rises sharply in the land of no soap and toothpaste, a large cloud of odour forms above the towns and cities of Great Britain.”

“Normally this can evaporate slowly over time and gradually be blown off the coast and dissipate.”

“However, when the conditions are just right, a strong coastal low can quickly move the odour across to the European mainland and blanket large pockets of country in the disgusting smell.”

“It feels like a 58-year-old Brexit geezer named Garry is inadvertently squishing you up against the glass on your bus window.”

“For a 12 hour flix bus across Europe.”

“Not a little 10 minute commute.”

More to come.