Shock As Banksy Looks Exactly Like Every 50-Something Bloke That Used To Paint Wholecars In The 90s

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT

One of the great mysteries of modern British art appears to have been solved this week, as the first ever known picture of graffiti artist 'Banksy' has been allegedly unearthed.

After decades of investigations, the English media appear confident that their relentless game of cat-and-mouse may have outed the true identity of the anonymous cultural icon.

New photos of a man spotted lingering around the most recent 'Banksy' artwork appear to match the last ever known photograph of the artist, taken in 2004, which shows a man carrying spray cans of paint, a canvas, and stencils.

Journalists have long been frustrated by the anonymity of Banksy, as his poignant and politically-charged artworks appear to share messages often at odds with the political class.

From the the peace walls of Belfast and Palestine, to the slums of London, Banksy's murals resonate and connects with a global audience in ways that many journalists and politicians cannot.

The artist's brave anti-war statements and class politics would be a lot easier to pick apart if they could just get a bit of background briefing on the bloke painting them, which until now they have been unable to do.

However, in exciting news for the Starmer government, the institution of 'Banksy' is now at the mercy of identity politics, as the Daily Mail reveals that he may be a former public schoolboy brought up in middle-class Bristol.

These revelations have been immediately followed by a social media storm, as the world appears shocked that Banksy might be a straight white man.

It is unknown what the mindless talking heads of TikTok and Twitter were expecting Banksy to look like, but what is clear is that they expected someone who looked a little bit more 'hip hop'.

However, anyone who has even the slightest association with 1990s graffiti writers would know that Banksy looks exactly like every other Gen-X fence-jumping art vandal, except for the fact he doesn't appear to have done much jail time since his pivot into world-famous stencil art that has the power to both shift elections and gentrify entire suburbs in the 15 minutes it takes him to get up.

He also looks like he could've potentially drimed a pretty fire grime album in the early 2000s.