Shirvo Shifts Nervously On Sunrise Couch As Story Of Penis Doping At Winter Olympics Emerges

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT

Sunrise Star Matt 'Shirvo' Shirvington has this week found himself awkwardly fumbling his way through a news story - as the Winter Olympics kicks off.

With the eyes of the Scandinavian countries, problem gamblers and rich people from the rest of the world narrowing in on Milano-Cortina, a peculiar story has emerged.

The World Anti-Doping Agency has vowed to investigate recent reports that ski jumpers at the Winter Olympics are injecting their penises with hyaluronic acid to help them fly farther.

The had to be seen to believed story has of course generated main-stream traction, with news organisation relishing in the opportunity to cover an interesting Winter Olympic angle.

However, for Matt the Microphone Shirvington, it's a rather tricky current affairs yarn.

Sources close to the great man say he's been pretty keen to play a straight bat...

"Yeah, he's just trying to keep a low profile on this one," laughed a producer speaking on the condition of anonymity.

"And his legs crossed."