Sharehouse Veggie Patch Didn’t Exactly Reach Expected Heights

PETE CLARK | Melbourne | CONTACT

A well intentioned yet dramatically overly optimistic group in their early 20’s has today learned that gardening is kind of hard.

The group of 5 living in a derelict mansion in the French Quarter expected to be able to totally sustain their household from the produce that their patch yielded.

Unfortunately they remain bitterly disappointed as their dreams were squashed and misshapen just like the tomatoes they planted in the crusty earth. 

Swept up in the excitement and good spirit that comes with setting up a new sharehouse, everyone put their funds together in the Bunnings outdoor section and bought some seedlings, soil and even a rake. 

A full on gardening chore calendar was organised and the house was an absolute buzz after the seedlings went in and the hype was real when they saw their first actual chilli pepper sprout through. 

However before the chillies could be harvested, neglect was visually present and the patch began to wilt. Gnats were abundant. Groceries were being store bought. 

The Advocate spoke with one housemate, Georgia Jones for comment. 

“Everything's gone to seed, the chillies died as quick as they appeared.”“We had a house party recently and everyone pissed in the patch because it was the most rotten part of the garden.”

“The spring onion is actually doing ok but that feels like a cop out,” she said. 

The veggie patch remains in place as a painful reminder that sharehouse rosters don’t work and actually create more tension than they resolve. 

The marigolds are also reported to have done absolutely nothing. 

More to come.