Scotty Eats His Press Secretary’s Lunch After Texting Him This Morning That He Wouldn’t

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Our Prime Bloke is currently in isolation down in Kirribilli House and receives daily briefings from one end of the garden.

However, he’s still got the run of the House and even gets to prepare his own curries in the kitchen as long as nobody else is there.

This morning around 11, Scott Morrison received a text message from his press secretary that asked him to please refrain from eating his lunch, to which the PM said he promised he wouldn’t.

Later in the afternoon, Scott indicated that he’d left the kitchen and retired to the Menzies hammock for the next few hours.

As he’d left the kitchen, it gave the opportunity for those in the PM’s team to retrieve their lunch from the Kirribilli House kitchen refrigerator.

“That motherfucker ate my lunch!” spat the PM’s press secretary.

“48 oysters! I was going to take some home for the wife! Fuck me dead, Scott!”

Unbothered, the PM’s slumbering meat sack gentle swayed in the afternoon change sweeping through Sydney.

More to come.