ScoMo Accidentally Puts His Melbourne Cup Money Into The Smokes Machine

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT

“Fuck!”

Those were the words coming out of Scott Morrison’s mouth after he left a North Sydney pub this afternoon.

Heading down to put a punt on the Melbourne Cup like a dinky die Aussie bloke who loves Aussie culture, the head of Marketing and Bloke Affairs accidentally fucked up.

Trying to get on something one of his staffers tipped him, the Big-Fella-In-Chief ended up feeding a lobster into the wrong machine.

“Fuck,” he sighed to one of our reporters after he fed the note into the ciggy machine.

“I thought it was the TAB machine, and they had all the horses there and you just pick one,” explained the bloke who grew up in Sydney’s Eastern Suburbs and went to UTS before working as a public servant for his entire life.”

“Peter Jackson isn’t the name of a horse is it,” he mumbled, thumbing at the pack of ciggies.

“Maybe I could try one, I’ve never had one before.”

“But then the cheese and kisses would blood tear me head off ha ha ha ha”

He then reportedly went back into the pub to ask one of the minimum wage employees to show him how to use the machine show he can get a good social media post for later.