“Schools Are Allowing Kids To Identify As Cats” Says Woman Who Used To Run Around The Oval Like A Horse

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | CONTACT

A millennial woman who only ever gets her news from Facebook has today gone on a rant about woke culture, and how schools are apparently letting kids identify as cats!

Liz Alpine, 30, tells The Advocate that kids these days are allowed to identify as all sorts of animals, which is WRONG.

She can’t say how old these kids are supposed to be, or give any tangible evidence but she read about it on a Daily Mail Facebook post so it must be correct.

“I would never let my kids go to a public school”, says Liz, who doesn’t have any, “I don’t want them becoming woke.”

“Did you know they’re allowed to shit in litter boxes?”

Noting that Liz has incredibly long hair, and is in that perfect age range of being a former Saddle Club lover, our reporter asks if she, by any chance, ever ran around the school oval pretending to be a horse, and isn’t it normal for young children to pretend to be animals?

And astronauts, witches, werewolves, superheroes. It’s called…having an imagination?

Liz is silent for a moment.

“That’s not the same thing”, she scoffs, rolling her eyes.

“It’s totally not!”

More to come.