Roosters Fan Relieved To Take His Mind Off Government's Abhorrent And Socialist Capital Gains Tax Changes

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT

The mighty Sydney Roosters will throwing the kitchen sink at the New Zealand Warriors when they kick off the 2026 NRL season at a sold-out Auckland Stadium tonight.

It's the third time in four years that the Warriors have had a round one match on New Zealand soil, this time facing a stacked Roosters side who are ranked just behind the Broncos and Panthers in the top 3 sides favoured to take out this year's premiership.

From 6:30 onwards, the Roosters fans will be glued to the television to see if tonight's match will be just another chin-up season opener - or will the Warriors show that never-die attitude that can often make or break their opponents' seasons with high impact injuries to both players and team confidence.

A feeling of nervousness has overcome the Eastern Suburbs of Sydney today, as Roosters fans realise that they haven't won a Premiership for the best part of a decade. This is not the type of drought they have grown used to with a non-stop flow of grassroots prodigies flowing in from New Zealand and Queensland.

Is it spirit they are lacking? As the Roosters continue to bumble around the top eight and then lose steam at the back-end of the season?

Whatever it is, it's a problem that not even the best salary cap masseuses in the business have been able to solve since 2019.

But regardless of the team's ability to lift in the finals dash, tonight's match is a welcome relief for local Rose Bay property investor, Robinson Trent (50) who has spent the last few weeks stressing about that common bogan we have as treasurer.

With a meaty majority in Parliament House, the Albanese Government has long talked up the possibility of major economic reforms.

Robinson wouldn't describe these socialist ideas as 'reform' - rather, he'd describe them as sure way to turn this country into a third world country.

"That man... He just arghhh!" says Mr Trent, as he begins thinking about the at uncouth mouth-breathing Queenslander who somehow has found himself in charge of the Australian economy.

"He just has no idea about how money works. What are these changes to the capital gains tax going to achieve. Nothing. It just means I'll be shelling out to pay for some lazy young person to get a house for free"

"Anyway. For the next 80 minutes, I don't have to think about that. I've let the air into a bottle of 1968 Penfolds Bin 95 and I'm going to cheers my boys home! Let's go Teddy!"