Right-Wing Suburban Mum Easily Mistaken For Inner-City Lesbian

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT

While her fashion sense and hairstyle seem completely heterosexual amongst her social circle, 46-year-old Betoota Heights mum Sandra Spacey is often mistaken for a lesbian from the inner city.

The mother of three, and die-hard Liberal Party voter, is unaware of the fact that most people in the Terrace House belt immediately assume she works in the restaurant game and campaigns for animal cruelty charities in her spare time.

Speaking from the hill at Betoota Rugby Club yesterday afternoon, Mrs Spacey says she is often puzzled why she is always handed Greens how-to-vote pamphlets whenever she heads to the ballot.

“Same as the farmers markets" she says.

"People always act like they know me” she says.

As Sandra points out, her extremely androgynous, cropped jet-black hairstyle isn’t as easily accessible in her aspirational Hillsong suburb.

“There’s a few too many of the platinum blonde bimbos doing the foil and curl thing up this way” she says.

“I need to take the Subaru down to the French Quarter to get a bit of oompf. Those girls at Lick ‘n’ Flick barbershop really now what they are doing,”

With her son about to run on for under 16’s and her friend Stacy just returning back from the canteen with a bottle of Yellow Glen, the multimillionaire wife of a roofing magnate says she's so glad she doesn't live in the inner-city with all of those leftie freaks.

“Why would you wanna live there?” she says while hooking a pebble out of her Birkenstocks.

"There's no Bunnings. No sport. I doubt they even have a hockey club"