Retiree Poised Like A Coiled Spring To Retrieve Bin The Second It’s Been Emptied

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT

A local septuagenarian from Betoota Heights has today taken some time out of his busy schedule to chat to The Betoota Advocate about an important part of his week.

Albert Dickson (79) from our town’s quiet cul-de-sac capital explained to our humble regional newspaper the thought process behind patiently waiting at the window for the bin man to come every Monday morning.

“Yeah I just like to keep on top of things ya know,” said Albert, who sits at his front window like a cat fantasising about the bird dithering around on the driveway.

“And a part of that is making sure I bring the bin in before people fill it up with their own shit.”

“Or a stupid filthy dog walker dumps their dog shit in my bin.”

“Or”

“Even worse, a young parent deposits a nice little nuclear grenade of baby waste that will fester over the course of the next 7 days like a bag of discarded prawn crusts.”

When questioned about whether he really needed to be hitting the driveway the second the bin man had released his bin from the mechanism, Albert laughed.

“So typical of your generation mate,” he said.

“Sitting on your hands pushing the hard work back.”

More to come.