Report: USB Actually Wasn’t The Wrong Way Around The First Time

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact

A local USB thumb-drive has been accused of lying to it’s owner this afternoon, after being successfully inserted after three rotations.

The USB’s owner, Sally (22, marketing, West Betoota), says she isn’t even surprised anymore – and says she doubts that there has ever been anyone that has successfully inserted their thumb drive into their laptop the first time around – ever, in the history of the world.

USB (Universal Serial Bus), is an industry standard that establishes specifications for cables, connectors and protocols for connection, communication, and power supply between personal computers and their peripheral devices – and not necessarily the thumb-drives that most people would associate with the abbreviation.

However, in Australia, a country that not only disrespects but also fears technological innovation, the term is solely reserved for the only USB compatible devices that anyone owns – their data storage ‘sticks’.

“Oh for fucks sake” shrieks Sally, upon her third and succesful attempt.

“What a fucking joke”

“Why didn’t it just go in the first time”

Sally, however, is not alone.

A recent survey by the Department for IT and Communications has found that 97% percent of USB users admit to having never inserted their USB on the first go – with many stating it’s usually the third or fourth time that works a charm.