Report: They Just Don't Make Shows Like Rake Anymore

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT

HARRY SORRY: Despite their best efforts, the Australia's big budget TV producers have been unable to conjure up one on-screen character that the general public finds remotely relatable since the 2010s.

A recent report from leading arts and culture thinktank AHAHAHAAAA (Australian Home Audiences Having Actually Honest Attempts At Artistic Appraisal)

The new study has found that Australian TV is unable to hold an audience for longer than 35 minutes, due to the fact that there is no audience for the shows currently being made.

"This report does not relate to crime or drama" says AHAHAHAAAA chairperson, Scarlet Mcgregor.

"We are simply talking about proper belly laughs. Outside of thriving Australia's rom-com format, they are few and fair between nowadays"

The report references the glory days of Kath and Kim and Rake, pointing out that a recent commitment to extremely online discourse and sterilised dialogue has created a product that everyday Australian audiences find weird and boring.

The focus on 'exportability' and 'second screen viewing' has also stifled humour, the report explains.

"Pretending that suburban Australia could just as easily be New York or London isn't really helping things either" said the spokeswoman

"We have generalised ourselves to make us more palatable to poms and yanks. That means we no longer have characters that live in blonde brick housing estates or in shitty Kings Cross flats"

"We get it. They're all just chasing a clip to go big on TikTok. But if Rake has taught us anything, it's that genuinely funny Aussie TV does not export well"

However, not everyone agrees. Clementine Clementè, spokesperson for the Culturally Relevant Independent Network of Gifted Eccentrics (CRINGE) says that this is not the fault of Australian TV, but more an insight into how Australian audiences are idiots and can't accept the fact Australia has transformed into an ethnically and sexually vague homogeny of men that talk like Boris Johnson and women that talk like Lena Dunham.

"Sorry but the days of drunken divorcees and problematic bogans are over" she says.

"Shonky solicitors and diva housewives just aren't relevant to Australia anymore"