Report Finds The Yellow Team Was Always The Best Primary School Sports House

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact

In some lighter news, it can now be confirmed there was one school sports colour that was superior to the rest.

These findings come as researchers at Betoota Polytechnic University undertook an extensive analysis of Australian primary school sports colours to test out a theory – that the yellow sports teams were not only the most athletic, but also the coolest.

This topic is said to have come up during an argument between PHD students one afternoon, who were initially arguing about the best Arnotts snakes flavour.

Though yellow was unanimously agreed upon to be the worst, but most abundant flavour, the conversation somehow segued into school sports colours.

“It was through this session of shit talking that we discovered a new colour theory”, says Ian Ghaines, 28, the head researcher of the project, “the majority of us agreed that yellow team was the best one.”

Ian says most schools they examined  had four sports colours, with yellow, red and green being most common. The fourth colour was usually either blue or purple.

“We found Red was second best, and Green…”

“Well green was always the shittest team.”

More to come.