Report: Dick Smith Probably Says Horrifying Things About Brown People After A Few Reds

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT

Following revelations that Australia food and electronics magnate, Dick Smith, has become a full-blown North Shore baby boomer, a study has been released by a leading sociological Government research body which was determined to find out what kind of bloke he would be at a dinner party.

The former Australian of the Year has this week publicly thrown his support behind One Nation leader Pauline Hanson, saying he is aligned with her tough immigration stance and other policy positions.

Mr Smith has offered to advise Ms Hanson as she seeks to expand One Nation’s support into key state and federal seats.

Lead researcher, Professor Ken Nagas from the Centre For Research Into Pointless Political Opinions, says that while Dick Smith came into the public eye as a beacon of optimistic environmentalism, it looks as though he has just turned into a bitter old fart from the North Shore of Sydney.

“I think Dick Smith probably starts a few conversations by saying ‘I’m not racist but..’ or even the old ‘I’ve got nothing against these people but…’ – either way, I reckon he’d be hard work after a few reds”

Professor Nagas says that although Dick Smith once was considered an authority on sustainability and decentralising urban areas, it seems his plan all along was to just make Australia a bit whiter and a little less crowded.

“I guess you could make a stretch between immigrants and the environment… but I don’t think Pauline cares too much about the environment”

“Can you imagine the things he says about brown people after a few. Holy shit”