Reformed Smoker Replaces Filthy Addiction With Talking About How Strong His Willpower Is

Louis Burke | Culture | Contact

Former smoker Ashley Hayes (36) is sharing his secret to quitting smoking, claiming that all you need to do is replace smoking cigarettes with talking about how strong your willpower is.

After a treacherous 20-months of social smoking, Hayes decided to stub a bummed cigarette for the last time in favour of letting his friends know how his willpower is a strong and unyielding force to be reckoned with.

Although he has no experience in motivational speaking, Hayes has now begun the first in a series of free lectures about her willpower to his peers and anyone else unfortunate enough to be within earshot.

“You know what else I’ve noticed now that I’ve quit? You guys all smell of smoke!” stated Hayes as he stood in the smoking section for some reason.

“I was going to use the patches but they’re so expensive I thought forget it, I might as well smoke. Then I remembered that when you put mind over matter, it doesn’t cost you anything.”

Attendees of the impromptu motivational seminars report that Hayes incorporates several stunts into the lectures, including holding a lit cigarette to prove her willpower and encouraging everyone to walk across burning butts to start their new life.