Queensland CSIRO Beg The Broncos To Combine The Mens And NRLW Mad Mondays As A Breeding Experiment

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT

The next week is an important one for some of Queensland’s most powerful institutions.

With a 2nd Brisbane Lions AFL premiership tucked away in the trophy cabinet on Saturday afternoon, and both the mens and womens Broncos sides making it through to the NRL grand final, the entire River City is pulsating with nervous excitement.

That is, except for the scientists at the Brisbane Commonwealth Scientific and Industrial Research Organisation (CSIRO) bureau, who are getting straight to work on an experiment that they have been trying to conduct for decades.

The NRLW Grand Final will see the Broncos take on the Roosters, after both teams held their positions at the top of the table for the best part of the season.

The Roosters are a perfect 11-0 while the Broncos have only lost one game all year, to sit 10-1.The only loss of the Broncos season came against the Roosters back at the start of the season, in a 30-26 point thriller. This makes the grand final rematch even more personal, with the Roosters fighting to notch an undefeated season. Meanwhile, the Brissy girls are ecstatic at the opportunity to rob the southerners of such history.

And with the Broncos men ending the Penrith Panthers dynasty overnight, it seems that conditions are perfect for the long-awaited SQA trial.

Using bloodstock techniques similar to those used by race horse breeders, the ‘SQA’ stands for ‘Superior Queensland Athlete’ – and involves breeding the best of the state’s male and female footballers.

Leading researchers from CSIRO Queensland say that regardless of either grand final result, the stage is set for the Broncos mens and women to procreate.

“We initially planned to do this with the Broncos and Firebirds netballers, but we found that the males would get intimidated by taller females and could not perform” said Professor, Jesse Upton.

“The introduction of a womens game has been just what we needed”

While some of the players are happily married, and some of the NRLW side are lesbians, the scientists there are still multiple variations of NRL and NRLW players that can be paired together as eligible heterosexuals.

“We just need the Broncos to make sure that both their Mad Mondays converge at some point.”

“NSW-born Broncos are also welcome to take part in this pedigree programme, but the child must be born in Queensland, with the mother only drinking Queensland tankwater for the entire duration of the pregnancy”

“All I can say is that the 2045 State Of Origin is going to be a bloodbath for the Blues”

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