Quaint Town Shudders After Qantas Mag Names Them In 'Best Coastal Towns To Fuck Up This Summer'

KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT

Nestled in a tiny patch of coastal paradise down on the south coast, Kiamabomaderry looks like the kind of place AI spits out if you asked it to make a postcard beach town.

Boasting one bakery, an IGA and an aging population of only 2,000 people, “Boma” as the locals call it, has up until recently managed to stay clear from the hoards of idiots from Sydney, who like to swarm the south coast in their Audi 4WD’s in the summer months.

One of the key factors that kept the town clear of tourists was that getting to the beachside village involves a 45 minute drive down a dangerous single lane road that winds through Conjola National Park, a journey too treacherous for any family that has kids who are likely to spew after more than two hairpin bends.

That and the fact that a pretty hectic triple murder happened on the edges of town in the nearby sawmill back in the 90’s, the town has managed to stay off NSW tourist guides for several decades.

But all the peace and quiet is expected to be dashed this summer, after some dickhead at the Qantas magazine decided to name Bomakiramderry in its hit list of “Best Undiscovered Coastal Towns To Visit This Summer”, after he fired up Google maps and decided it can be the next one to go viral.

Speaking to the owner of the only cafe/fish n’chip shop in town, Helen Moccona says the locals are banding together to keep everyone across any suss developments.

“Aww mate we’re fuming, we’re about to become the next Byron. There’s already talk Rick Stines has been sniffing around down here, and he hopes to flip the old boathouse into the kind of place that charges $38 for a fish finger burger.”

“As soon as an out of towner pulls up I alert the community FB page that another BMW driving idiot is looking at the real estate board next door.”

“Here they come…”