Private School Kid Secures Job Based Entirely On Own Merit

11 February, 2015. 17:06

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IN WHAT may come as a surprise to many, an underachieving private school student has landed a job based entirely on his own merit.

Castle Cove native Rupert “Henry” Jasper-Humphreys decided to go against the grain and apply for a job without asking his parents to “hook him up” late last week.

The 26-year-old former Bing Lee catalogue dropper was able to secure himself an internship at the prestigious Winmalee Sewerage Treatment Plant in Western Sydney.

“It’s a good start,” he said.

“My parents are proud of me for getting this all by my self – but they’re concerned about me spending so much time with westies,”

“Although I can’t see myself working in human waste forever, it’s going to look good on my resume.”

While this move may seem trivial to most, it’s a radical change in the sense of entitlement that certainly swims against the tide of most private schooled people.

While only 50% of private school leavers of the last 10 years have jobs, 99% of them got their jobs through family ties and corporate back scratching, making Rupert’s achievement even more astounding.

Rupert’s father, Wilbur, was as surprised as anyone.

“I’ve had Rupert primed for a job at Deutsche Bank since he was a young chap. To see him do something on his own is a disgrace to the Humphreys name.”

The private school in question declined to make comment on the situation pending an investigation conducted by the old boys union.