Pop Pleased To Hear Auntie Is Bringing Her Long-Time Housemate To Christmas Again

INGRID DOULTON | Lady Writer | Contact

Local old man Kevin Dwyer has confirmed he is very pleased that his daughter will once again be bringing her long-time housemate to Christmas lunch, after the news was delivered to him slowly and with supportive pats by several family members.

Dwyer, who is now in his late nineties and considered emotionally fragile in the lead up to family gatherings, told The Advocate he was looking forward to seeing both of them.

"They are good company. They help with the washing up. They cut back the bougainvillea with a pole saw last Boxing Day," he said.

The pair have lived together for more than twenty years and share a mortgage, two dogs and a Medicare card.

Despite the obvious, the official line remains that they are simply close friends, a position maintained for Pop's comfort and general cardiovascular safety.

Family members admit it is also a financial strategy. Pop owns a significant amount of residential property across Betoota Grove and Betoota Heights, all purchased back when houses across South West Queensland cost roughly the same as a second-hand car. With his will still in occasional draft mode, there is a strong consensus to keep the path free of disturbances.

"No one wants to rock the boat," explained one grandchild, who recently discovered their borrowing capacity was just enough to finance a jetski.

"If Pop wants to think they are housemates who coincidentally wear matching polos on Christmas Day, then that is absolutely what they are. It's better for everyone."

Preparations for lunch continue, with the family quietly confident that this year's gathering will once again pass without incident, provided everyone sticks to the script and no one uses the word "partner" within Pop’s earshot, which is now just 35cm from his earhole.

More to come.