Piastri Recruits Elderly Neighbour To ‘Blow Lando’s Car To Fucking Sky’ Ahead Of Title Showdown

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT

The race for the Formula 1 Driver’s Championship has just taken a rather interesting turn, it can be confirmed.

Not the type of turn that a driver would take too fast and leave their engine smoking against the barricade, but a turn that will literally BLOW the title race wide open again.

That comes in the form of a very hectic plot to sideline the current leader of the season, Lando Norris.

The plot has apparently been orchestrated by his team and fellow aspiring F1 champion Oscar Piastri, who has seen enough with 4 races to go.

Surrendering the lead in the race to teammate Norris after this morning’s Mexican Grand Prix, Piastri has asked the family to lean on an old neighbour of theirs.

That neighbour is Farouk, who burst onto the national stage a couple of decades ago during the documentary The Castle.

Amongst other things, Farouk raised a few eyebrows by saying things like; ‘You have friend, I have friend. My friend go to your house, put bomb under your car and blow you to fucking sky!’

And that is what he’s been asked to do to the fancy McLaren car that a posh Englishman drives every couple of weeks.

“Yeah, obviously we don’t want him blowing Norris to the sky, just his car,” said a spokesperson for Piastri in an exclusive interview with The Advocate.

“I mean McLaren clearly want their English golden boy to win, so it’s time to even things up a little bit for Oscar.”

Farouk was unavailable for comment, but gave our reporter a stronger two thumbs up.

More to come.