Australian Pet Food Manufacturers Prepare For Glut In Supply After Ban Lifted On American Beef

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT

Chum, Pedigree and all the other fancy new age pet-food companies are today frantically reviewing all of their supply contracts.

This comes after it was confirmed by the government that a glut of American ‘beef’ will be entering the Australian market.

Depending upon who you ask, the American beef will be entering the market because Anthony Albanese is simping to Donald Trump or making a scientific and calculated trade decision.

It follows the lifting of tracking restrictions on American beef for biosecurity measures, that had essentially seen all product from the States prevented from entering Australia.

Now, with ‘upgrades in American science and bovine tracing’ the biosecurity measures have been lifted, allowing for bulk yank beef to enter the country.

However, given it is more the Taco bell style ambiguous brown protein than juicy Aussie steaks, that has meant that the dog food and cheap party pie industry is on standby to try and cut down their margins.

“Yeah, it’s certainly going to save us some money,” said Chum spokesperson, Andy Reason.

“Unfortunately it’s going to mean a few job cuts in our Road Kill Retrieval department.”

“Obviously the initial drops of America beef will be expensive, but because no humans will want to eat it in anything other than party pies, the arse will fall out of the market.”

“And then we’ll be able pounce on the left overs and use the surplus shit American beef to make our dog food.”

“Works for us.”