Pauline To Give Alternative National Address On Sky News At 7pm To Discuss Those Scarves Muslim Women Wear

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The Prime Minister's office have confirmed that the Australian leader will deliver an address to the nation at 7pm tonight, across all media channels.

It is believed that this rare and direct message to the Australian people is set to include an outline of the government's immediate responses to the Middle East conflict - and it is necessary that the plan is outlaid for the nation before school holidays begin.

In an effort to avoid the confusion that was caused by ever-changing guidelines at the beginning of the COVID-19 pandemic, The Prime Minister will explain to Australians the different ways that they can "play their part" and save fuel for areas and industries that "most need it" for our economy to survive this wartime era we are now venturing into.

The address will be simulcast on all television and radio across Australia at 7pm AEDT.

All channels except for Sky News, that is.

Australia's far-right TV network says they are 'sickened' by the left-wing media's obsession with platforming the Labor government, and will provide balance to this evening's proceedings.

Instead, they will be broadcasting an alternative national address from One Nation leader, Pauline Hanson.

While the Prime Minister Albanese muses about his dystopian plan to limit everyday Australians from buying as much unleaded petrol as their jet skis and automatic Ford Raptor's can stomach, Pauline says she will be focusing on the real issues.

Namely, those scarves that Muslim women wear.

Hanson has long opposed Muslims wearing religious dress, and in fact has worn a burkha herself to Parliament in protest of such cultural practises. Once in 2018, and then again eight years later when she ran out of things to talk about last November.

It is not known if she will also talk about banning Hindu women from wearing the ghoonghat, or if she even knows that Catholic nuns and Orthodox Jews have their own forms of female religious headwear, known as the coif and tichel, respectively.

But there will be other agenda items for tonight's rebel national address, including the biased family courts always favouring women, the need to ban abortions to help encourage more white babies being born, and of course - the ever-pressing issue that is the UN's disastrous climate change myth.