Paris Tourist Scammers Forced To Unionise As Global Unrest Deprives Them Of Clueless Aussie Holidayers

MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACT

The trickers, scammers and pickpockets of the City Of Love are reportedly preparing to form a union - in light of an already concerning slump in Aussie holidayers.

The lack of cashed up and clueless Australians is beleived to be caused by 'all that stuff that's been going on' - namely, the War in Iran.

Marian Lăcătuș (56) a cup and ball scammer originating from Romania, claims the entire industry is bracing for impact, and are in talks with French government ministers about the potential roll-out of a support package for the industry.

"Naive Australians are some of our most important income streams, we fear the oil crisis may impact their numbers this year" said google translate from his phone.

Ibrahim Dongola (28), a classic bracelet scammer, operating at the stairs of the Sacre Coeur, has announced the establishment of the 'Union Des Escrocs Et Des Arnaqueurs A Paris' [Union of Swindlers and Scammers in Paris]"

"Despite sometimes stepping on each others toes, we must band together to defend our shared interests" said Ibrahim, as he begins giving in to the inherent Parisian urge to protest.

According to industry insiders, the informal Paris tourist scam sector has long operated without clear leadership or worker protections, with rival crews competing fiercely for distracted backpackers and freshly arrived honeymooners.

However, the imminent shortage Australian tourists wandering around with brand new RM Williams boots and far too much trust in civil society has caused grave concerns within the industry.

Union organisers say they will lobby the French government for better conditions, including clearer scam zones near major landmarks, and a fairer roster system for peak selfie hours - particularly around the Eiffel Tower and Louvre entrances.