Paid Leave Porter Spices Up Hump Day By Blinding Commercial Aircraft Pilot With Laser Pointer

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT

The nation’s Attorney General has this afternoon revealed to The Betoota Advocate how he’s livened up his hump day.

With lawyers frantically working on his defamation case agains the ABC and the Prime Minister still protecting him from an independent enquiry, Paid Leave Porter said he’s spent the arvo pranking some local pilots.

“Hahahaha look at the swerve on that,” laughed Porter as a QANTAS flight full of people deviated off its path a little.

“Fucking losers, I bet they are all freaking out up there,” continued the man who is still refusing to answer questions about an independent inquiry – which would seemingly clear his name if it were allowed to happen and he is as innocent as he says he is.

“I’m going to bring it to court when I meet with the ABC. Watch their lawyers try and argue against my ones with a little bit of major laser action getting in their eyes.”

Porter then leaned over his fence to point the laser into the eyes of a school bus driver going past his humble Perth mansion.

“What? What are you going to do huh?” he yelled before sliding back down the fence and waiting for the next plane to try and make its way into the western capital.