Opinion: Let He Who Has Not Messaged A Dodgy Kiwi Mate To Tee Up A Sunny Coast Shortball, Or Short 8Ball If You Will, Cast The First Stone.

Well, there you have it. A game that is completely reliant on both poker machines and sportsbetting might have a slight problem with their footballers also getting involved in this very new and completely unregulated favourite Australian past time.

That’s another problem, and one I don’t really give a shit about given the fact it solely implicates a migrant NRL sell-sword who has recently been relegated to a bottom 4 team.

I mean, aside from the fact that I find it humorous that the South Sydney Rabbitohs, in 2025, continue to buy what the Roosters are selling. It’s almost like those hot-tempered Maroubra Greeks take pleasure in jumping on the hand grenades that get pegged over to Redfern from the Eastern Suburbs. Even funnier because it’s Greeks fucking over Greeks.

Anyway, it looks like there might be another explosive projectile coming their way very soon.

Because, in case you have been reading the sports media that has been regurgitated from the Roosters Dirt Unit, this apparent ‘inside knowledge’ scandal has now engulfed a third-party from the East.

On Thursday, the Roosters handed Victor Radley, their only legitimately local product, the “heaviest sanction ever imposed on a player in the club’s history” – he’s been told to look for a new club, and has been stood down for ten weeks without pay.

Why?

For texting a dodgy Kiwi mate for – what looks like – the purpose of procuring some Class A narcotics on the Sunshine Coast.

I’ve been to Noosa, I’ve been to Mooloolaba. God help me, I’ve even been to Maroochydore. You actually need cocaine to endure those places. Panama hats and Camilla kaftans. Not one Thai joint. Hell on earth.

And as someone who has become lifelong friends with scaffolders who helped renovate my family home, I too understand the ease in which itinerant New Zealanders can get their hands on such goodies.

Furthermore. Who the hell are the Sydney Roosters to gasp at such conduct. It’s called Bondi Marching Powder for a reason. You know, that stuff that every single rugby league journalist shoves up their nose at least once a week. Spare me the pearl-clutching. We’re dealing with a largely uneducated young man on 600k year. It’s enough cash to be an idiot, but definitely not enough to stay home. Ask any one of my deadshit nephews in the mines.

The only shortballs, or short 8balls if you will, we should be worried about are the ones being spiralled from Sydney Roosters HQ to the newsrooms full of hungover coke heads that are salivating at the chance to assassinate the character of a young man who keeps getting red carded for doing what he’s told to do.

ABOUT THE COLUMNIST: Bruce Bagsworth is a 70-year-old post-war Australian who has enjoyed an adult life where seemingly every single government – both state, federal and local – has feircely protected his interests first and foremost. He was just young enough to avoid getting drafted to the Vietnam War, and he’s just old enough to avoid experiencing the most severe aspects of the climate crisis. A former stockbroker turned speech writer for Malcolm Fraser, he eventually made an eye-watering fortune by investing in the residential property market. However, unlike most of his contemporaries, Bruce is very well aware of how good he’s had it. This allows him to empathise with younger people without feeling the need to concoct some sort of mythologised rags-to-riches story. As a mildly-engaged Roman Catholic, Bruce maintains fairly conservative social views, but has abstained from having his brain fucked by Sky News and Facebook. He puts this town to his commitment to public service and golf, which has kept him away from the computer.