Office Worker Spoilt For Choice With 4 Possible Nights To Get Fucked Up This Weekend

VICKI DERWENT | Lifestyle | CONTACT

Office workers across the country have been jumping around with that long weekend glow knowing they can spend four nights getting completely sloshed. 

The Easter long weekend is the only four day weekend of the year, encouraging the first bender since Gooch Week (the days between Christmas and New Years). 

Financial planner, Audrey Dean, can’t wait to celebrate the resurrection of Jesus Christ. 

“On a normal weekend you can only have a proper big one on Friday so Saturday is a ride off and Sunday you can actually do shit.” 

“Easter though, holy fuck. You can do a big one on Thursday for post work drinks. Then Friday, drunk again and it’s chill cause it’s only Friday. But the bottle shops are closed. So it's like maybe a matter of stocking up tonight and then having a gatho? Or finding some pub that has strayed from God's light"

An excitable Audrey then drew breath, before continuing.

"On Saturday, it’s like c’mon it’s Saturday we have to celebrate. Sunday, it’s like actually Easter so you gotta go hard, just because of the whole mood of the weekend. By Monday, you’re eased into the no-work lifestyle so that arvo aperol spritz goes down like an orange juice.” 

"So technically five days to choose from, right?"

Audrey assured our reporter that she is still planning on respecting the Easter traditions. 

“I’ll be trying to stay on the reds, that’s like religious right, they drink it in church.” 

"And yeah. I'll eat fish on Friday. Or just tuna and rice"

Office manager, Brian Clark, has seen a boost in employee satisfaction amongst his workers this week. 

“The days before the Easter long weekend are completely different days to the rest of the year. I saw someone smile when they sat down on Monday, someone even brought in a little bowl of chocolate eggs, that was nice” Brian told our reporter. 

“Easter combined with the final days of daylight saving, people treat it like the last few days on earth, you can’t waste it.” 

Local pub owner Gerard is preparing himself for a big weekend of business. 

“I wouldn’t call myself a religious person, Easter though, different story, I love that Jesus guy.” 

“Except Good Friday, I have to double security so I don’t get glassed for only being allowed to serve beers with a meal. Don’t love the long haired fellow too much then.” 

More to come.