Office Millennial Takes A Break From The Suicide Jokes After Full Moon Recharges Her Crystals

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT

Scout Kitchwell (20), a resident millennial at a local outdoor marketing company has today shocked her coworkers after managing to last the entire morning without saying she literally wants to die.

The part-time-photographer-slash-food-blogger-slash-full-time-office-manager is bouncing between office cubicles with an extra spring in her step this morning.

This comes after last night’s full moon of February, which also appeared full the night before to the casual stargazer. According to NASA, it was also a ‘supermoon’ – which is ideal for recharging crystals.

Scout has been reportedly in good spirits ever since she scooped up her semi-precious stones off the back patio table at her French Quarter sharehouse this morning. It’s a mood that not even the most frustratingly mundane office task could ruin.

“Big mood” says Scout, who has taken a much need break from her usually dark sense of internet humour.

Her desk buddy, Wendy (61), says Scout is like a new person.

“She hasn’t even made one uncomfortable joke about eating Tide Pods until she suffers liver failure” says the assistant account director.

“It probably helps that the office is mostly made up of Scorpios and Capricorns. The compatibility is always very noticable during a supermoon”

With her 21st birthday just one week away, Scout agrees that it’s a good time to be a water baby.

“It’s Pisces season bitches” says Scout.