"Nope, Won't Be Needing That!" Laughs Local Fullback As He Walks Past The Napisan Again

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT

When it comes to club footy, Fabio DeGeneres (23, Betoota Grove) describes himself as 'dual'.

Meaning, he views himself as a dual-position type player.

Specifically, as either an overlapping fullback, or a goal-kicking winger.

That's his preferences - but every time a team mate gets injured, he makes a point of telling the coach that he's pretty handy wherever they want to put him.

One thing that is for certain is that Fabio is a back. It's undeniable.

He may argue that he is perfectly capable coming off the side of a scrum, or running it up the middle if he has to, but his teammates and the coaches know that he's completely out of his element up front.

For many reasons.

Namely, his undying love of cologne - which he applies liberally to his throat and wrists every morning, especially on game day. There's also the fact that he visits the barber twice a week.

On top of that, he wears footy boots that are so white you can't even see the stitching. He also drinks low carb beer.

But his most obvious backline characteristic is the fact that he can play a full eighty minutes without getting so much as a blade of grass on his jersey, let alone any dirt.

But like most backs, Fabio is immune to smart arse comments about his hygiene. In fact, he relishes in them. Because backs are swanky and do well with the girls. Unlike those mouth-breathing apes they call front rowers.

Walking through the IGA this afternoon before training, Fabio can't help but laugh when he gets to the laundry liquid aisle. Imagine being such a little piggy that you have to buy special stain remover bleach for your jersey.

"Nope, won't be needing that" he chortles to himself, as he imagines his own front rower team mates attempting to do their own washing without a girlfriend to help