New Years Health Kicks Obviously Starting To Fizzle Out

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT

As parks, pubs and restaurants around the country fill out on a glorious Friday afternoon, a breaking new report has confirmed that January is done and dusted.

While there is still 36 hours left of the first month of the year, judging by the crumbling of New Years health kicks around the country, it's all over bar the shouting.

"Yeah, fuck it," said local man Sam Newton.

"I've had enough of this health kick."

"Well Dry January particularly."

"I'm still endeavouring to stay healthy and exercise."

"But full calorie beer is back on the menu."

Newton, like many, says it's been a big week back in the office and it feels like he's earned a bit of a session.

"It was four gruelling days," he laughed.

"So I think I'm justified in treating myself."

"Don't you?"

Our reporter agreed.

No more to come.