New uni student well orientated with dorm toilets by fourth day of O-Week

23 February, 2016. 14:23

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After the glee of being accepted into the most prestigious communications programme in the country had subsided, Millie Gerbatsch arrived in Bathurst with a suitcase full of dreams, hope and ambition.

Finally free from her parent’s constant supervision, the 18-year-old revealed to The Advocate this morning that she basically put Charles Sturt as her first preference to escape their watchful eye.

Aside from having to shake hands and meet poon upon poon at her college ice-breaking sessions on Monday night, Ms Gerbatsch explained that so far she’s had ‘the time of her young life’ at the regional university.

“I’ve never drank this much in my life,” she said.

“Yeah, but. I’ve been here for like four days and all I’ve done is eat hot chips, drink, dance, pash, vomit and cry a little bit. I also got my timetable. This place is fucked, but I love it.”

Today being the fourth day of O-Week, Millie said she still didn’t really know her way around the sprawling campus – but she certainly knew how to get from the UniBar to her dorm toilets with 37 standard drinks under her belt.

“That’s the easy part,” she said. “Going outside to vomit.”

“The hardest part is trying to convince the bouncers to let you back in after a cheeky tacky vom back in the dorms.”

More to come.