New Report Finds Constantly Inhaling Artificially Flavoured Chemical Vapour From Digital Device Made By Nameless Foreign Manufacturer Not That Good For You

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT

The world has today been rocked by a stunning health revelation.

A GROUNDBREAKING new report has revealed that the mass produced cheap little lung lollies known more commonly as vapes, might be really bad for you.

UNSW researchers have unveiled the breathtaking and truly unbelievable insight that vapes have “carcinogenicity in their own right”.

The research analysed over 100 different studies with the overarching conclusion being that the random unregulated chemical sticks made fuck knows where and sold out out of random businesses, are actually not very good for you at all.

In fact, they might even be worse than the things they were supposedly hailed to replace.

The shocking revelations come after a decade of the tobacco industry cleverly transitioning generational smokers from cigarettes to vapes, and hooking an entire new generation to the wonders of nicotine and a bunch of other shit (probably).

Speaking to South Betoota Polytechnic Public Health expert Aaron Prost, The Advocate has been told that there potentially may have been a clever strategy at play here the whole time.

"Now that we have a growing body of evidence that these cancer sticks are in fact cancer sticks, it's about time the government starts properly regulating vapes," sighed Prost.

"Which means the established generational tobacco companies can step in and meet that 'need' with 'tested and regulated products'"

"The operation is almost complete."

More to come.