Neurotic Aunty Forced To Take Christmas Baubles Off Toddler Nephew After He Fucks Up The Spacings

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact

A local woman has been pushed to the brink of a festive meltdown this week, after an attempt at bonding with her nephew saw the OCD neurons in her brain screaming in pain.

Preferring to space baubles out evenly and break up decorations up by colour, Sophie Danielle, 33,  admits she almost had a meltdown when Lachlan decided to put two red baubles next to each other, for the third time in a row.

“Fuck me, I don’t know how parents do it, that was rough”, says Sophie, “kids just have no clue about colour theory or negative space, do they?”

“Why would you put two red baubles on the same tree stem?”

“Do they not teach about contrasting colours in school?”

Sophie says her attempts to redirect Lachlan’s enthusiasm were reportedly met with cheerful indifference.

“I suggested maybe putting a gold bauble next to the red one, but nah. He just likes the red ones apparently.”

“I know it’s supposed to be about the memories but I don’t want to have to keep looking at that monstrosity all month.

“I’m going to have redo the whole thing.”

More to come.