Nation’s Drug Dealers To Start Offering Teenagers Pay By The Minute Scrolling Time

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact

Parents have been warned that the nation’s drug dealers have already started adapting to the under 16s social media ban, by allowing teenagers to scroll on stolen phones using an internet cafe style ‘pay by the minute’ plan.

This comes as the nation today rolled out its long awaited social media ban, which sees people under the age of 16 banned from using social media platforms such as Facebook, Instagram, Tik Tok and Reddit.

Users have been kicked off these platforms if they have been identified as minor.

So far, this has been determined by the date of birth entered in existing accounts, through age verification software, and for Reddit, analysing the user’s browsing history.

There have already been reports by parents that children have been able to bypass the age verification software by adapting their appearance with makeup, or even by simply scrunching one’s face.

However for the kids that have not yet worked out how to get around these bans, it appears that the nation’s drug dealers have seized upon this rare opportunity - by offering a $1 a minute unsupervised scrolling time in dark alleyways.

Speaking to a Betoota Ponds drug dealer, who wishes to remain anonymous for obvious reasons, The Advocate learns that this is now more lucrative than actually selling drugs.

“I’ve made $500 today, without even selling a single bag”, says the dealer, revealing a trenchcoat filled with burner phones, “I charge extra for Tik Tok. It’s like the coke equivalent.”

The dealer admits he did offer some of the older teens weed, but that they were far more interested in the phones.

"Yeah they had no interest in drugs. Didn't want any pingas either."

"Bit unhealthy if you ask me."

More to come.