Nation Struggles To Give A Shit About Possibly Three State Opposition Leaders Being Rolled In 24 Hours

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With the Federal Opposition now polling at 24% - the cultural relevance of the Liberal and National Party's is being tested this week.

Sussan Ley's decision to capitulate to her party's brain-rot faction and scrap any commitments to the Net Zero target has led to ripple effects for her colleagues at a state level.

In Victoria, the sadistic State Opposition has decided to self-flagellate this morning - by replacing their embattled leader Brad Battin the day after the Liberals finally edged ahead of Labor in the opinion polls.

Jess Wilson MP has just been announced as the new leader of the Victorian Liberals, replacing Brad Battin in a leadership challenge that kicked off at 8.30am AEDT.

She will be the first female to ever hold that role, a milestone only slightly dampened by the fact that she is their third leader in 11 months.

Still, there is hope within the membership that sending a woman into battle against Premier Jacinta Allan at the 2026 election will help to distract voters from the fact that half the party is currently suing eachother for defamation.

Meanwhile, The NSW Nationals has this morning just elected Gurmesh 'The Woolgoolga Seahorse' Singh MP as their party leader, less than 24 hours after Dubbo MP Dugald Saunders abruptly resigned.

Mr Singh, a former berry and macadamia farmer from the Mid-North Coast, has been in parliament since 2019 and is the shadow minister for emergency services.

Speculation now swirls around the NSW Liberal leader Mark Speakman, with his party leaking to media like a pasta strainer about the possibility of him getting rolled today too.

This follows a string of poor opinion poll results for the NSW Liberals, which aren't necessarily Speakman's fault - given the fact that his party is unable to distance themselves from the roaring binfire that is the Federal Opposition.

It also doesn't help that two of the last three Liberal Premiers of NSW were investigated by ICAC for corruption.

And not one voter seems to give a shit about any of this. The Coalition's old strategy of chasing sugar-hits by rotating leaders no longer works because the vast majority of Australia would not have known any of their names.