Nation Gets Annual Reminder Of The Godless Shit Channel 7 Is Putting On These Days

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Cricket fans around the country have today received their annual reminder of what exactly Channel 7 does when it is not broadcasting Test cricket, as the network resumed its long standing practice of hurling its most alarming program promos at viewers during every over break.

The shock began early. Five balls into the summer, viewers were blasted with a full volume ad for The Chase, which proudly markets itself as a quiz show for people who find regular quiz shows too intellectually demanding. That was immediately followed by a preview for RFDS, the medical drama where every illness or catastrophic injury in the outback can apparently be cured by stern looks and heavy sighing.

Shortly after, Australians were exposed to Home and Away, a program that continues to be broadcast purely in spite. This was quickly backed up by an ad for Big Brother, which now appears to be a social experiment centred on whether the human brain can survive sustained exposure to people who say "I'm not here to make friends".

Fans report the same pattern every year. One viewer in South Brisbane said the transition from the serenity of Test cricket to an ad for SAS Australia felt like "a bit disingenuous" as it was clear nobody was going to be putting a JDAM through the roof of a mud hut full of insurgents this season. Another fan in the French Quarter said he had forgotten My Kitchen Rules was still running and assumed the promo was a rerun from 2014.

Promos for The Voice also featured prominently, reminding Australians that the network remains committed to a singing competition where most contestants disappear into obscurity before the credits finish rolling. Viewers were then immediately shown an ad for 7NEWS, which is the only commercial news watching because they don't care who's feet they stamp on to get the yarn.

Cricket Australia confirmed that broadcast partners are allowed to promote their content during scheduled breaks, although the cumulative effect has left many fans reconsidering the structural integrity of free to air television.

Despite this, the cricket continues to rate strongly for Channel 7. For many Australians it remains the only time they willingly tune into the network at all. By stumps, the verdict was the same in pubs, loungerooms and work sites across the country.

More to come.