Nation Disgusted By Seemingly Talented Man’s Inability To Succeed In Unpopular Sport

22 October, 2015. 16:05

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A 21-year-old Australian has been kicked off a professional sporting tour, effective immediately, after not wanting to win.

The man in question, tennis player Nick Kyrgios, faces a ban until January at the earliest for what the  described a “conduct contrary to the integrity of the game” – despite openly admitting he doesn’t like tennis.

Australians are disgusted at Kyrgios’s lack of drive to win matches in our nation’s eighth most popular sport.

“Its fucking UnAustralian!” shouts local chippy, Ben Castlemaine (35), who hasn’t watched a match of tennis since Pat Rafter was playing.

“He should be ashamed of himself!”

The announcement follows Kyrgios’ performance against German Mischa Zverev, in which the Aussie fell 6-3 6-1 in 48 minutes and appeared to not give a shit on a number of occassions

At one point, he lobbed a serve over the net and walked off the court before his opponent had returned, making the sport not very entertaining to watch.