“Must Be Election Time” Says African Kid After Spotting Herald Sun Photographer At Fitzroy Courts

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT

As both the Prime Minister and Federal Opposition leader agree to pause the election campaign in light of the Pope’s death, it seems that the Australian media will have to pick up the slack over the final fortnight.

This means that the Liberal Party’s most recent pivot into youth crime prevention is dominating front pages across the country.

The Coalition’s ‘Operation Safer Communities’ was announced over the weekend, and the press release has since been regurgitated into every inch of Australian newspapers that aren’t dominated by the passing of the leader of the Catholic Church.

On Saturday, the Liberal Party announced a plan to spend 750 million dollars on disciplining wayward young children, who are mostly black and poor.

This rhetoric has proven to be a hit with NewsCorp journalists in recent years, but it is still unclear wether it moves the dial when it comes to an election – especially in the marginal seats of outer-Melbourne that are pivotal to a Coalition victory.

Many media commentators remain convinced that the LNP’s victory in the Queensland State Election earlier this year was a result of their highly publicised anti-crime platform.

However, surveys conducted both before and after polling found time and time again that the key voters issues were the cost-of-living crisis and a general distrust of government after the clunky Brisbane Olympics plans.

But as the leader of a party that answers directly to shock jocks and Murdoch columnists, Opposition leader Peter Dutton has once again declared that Victorians are too scared to go the shops.

Dutton last made this claim eight years ago, and was laughed out of Melbourne at the time – with even his own Liberals colleagues making it known that such comments insult them as Victorians.

However, with their back against the wall, and Labor dominating the campaign on health, education and penalty rates – it seems that it is now time for Dutton to speak about nothing but youth crime in Melbourne – even if the Federal Government has absolutely zero jurdisdiction over policing young people.

This last ditch effort to claw back reactionary right-wing voters became clear to the African-Australian kids playing basketball at Fitzroy courts before school this morning, after they spotted a Herald Sun photographer hiding in the bushes.

“Must be an election on” said one of the youths.

“Get ready to be on the front page boys. We are officially a gang!”

“Hope they blur our faces this time”