Ed Sheeran Seen Throwing Chair At Friend Outside Melbourne Strip Club
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact British pop sensation Ed Sheeran has continued his seemingly endless tour of Australia last night, this
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In what has been described as the 2026 version of the famous Burrumbuttock Hay Runners, a truck convoy has brought more than 60,000 DVDs of explicit pornography porn-drought-stricken agricultural workers in the outback.
Dozens of trucks have come from all directions over the weekend, with some even crossing the Nullarbor after setting off on Friday.
This follows the implementation of new age verification laws that took effect from Monday, March 9 - causing major adult streaming platforms to forced Australian users to official register with 100 points of ID.
This is too tall of a request for most Australian men, who live in fear of the search history of their unconventional desires being leaked publicly in a cyberattack.
Regional data providers such as StarLink, colloquially referred to as StarWank, have reported a sharp decrease in activity in the regions - as transient Australian workers are forced to rely on the spank bank.
However, the Australian Spirit was on show for all this week, as generous Aussies donated thousands of pre-internet skin flicks to the struggling male-dominated workforce in the bush.
Farmers say they remain cautious about the flow-on effects of their towns going completely dry since the new pornhub bans came in, but the mood on their properties is being boosted by the arrival of much-needed fodder to keep their workers operational.
"It's hard to show what it means for us" says one cattleman, 30-year-old Brewce Buckles who has been forced to spend three nights looking at the stars from his swag.
"In times like these, emotions tend to be a lot higher. We've had punch ons and tantrums all over the plant"
Prime Minister Anthony Albanese has also praised the DVD runners, labelling them 'Aussie Heroes' for their selfless donations of much needed blue movies to the porn-drought-stricken interior.
"You know some of these dongers haven't had a drop in who knows when" said the PM.
"This goes a long a way to lifting spirits. And that's what Aussies do. When times get tough, we come together"