Motel Spa Revealed To Be 98% Urine

TRACEY BENDINGER

Society

A report has today released some damning, but not surprising, results on the cleanliness of one of Betoota’s more infamous Motels.

Carried out by the country’s peak regulatory body for hospitality hygiene, the report revealed that the spa water at Selina’s Motel was less than 2% actual water.

“After careful analysis we determined that the water in the communal spa was in fact 98% urine, 1.5% water, and 0.5% gatorade” Dr. Kelly from Western District Hospitality Hygiene told The Advocate.

“We’ve never seen a urine reading that high before”

It’s understood that Dr. Kelly and her team were asked to conduct their investigation after an inexplicable rise in the number of kidney failures in Betoota and surrounding regions.

“We’ve seen STD’s, rashes and other viral diseases spread through spa water but never kidney failure. That water is truly toxic.”

According to a spokesperson for Betoota Memorial Hospital, a person would need to ingest “a substantial amount of urine” for the kidneys to fail, so for it to happen through epidermal absorption is astonishing and concerning.

More to come.