Millennial Feeling Her Age As Coachella’s Headline Acts Starting To Sound Like Kids Board Games

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact

A local millennial woman is confronting her age today after realising she no longer recognises most of the artists performing at Coachella – and worse, some of their names now sound more like children’s board games than musicians.

While tuning into a Coachella livestream from her office,  31-year-old Anitha Swan says a wave of existential dread hit as she failed to connect with the festival’s Sunday lineup –  moment she describes as “deeply humbling,” and eerily reminiscent of her mum once referring to Billie Eilish as “Billie Eyelash.”

“Who’s Beep Boop? Beep-a-boop? Beepaboodee? I don’t know anymore,” sighed Anitha, referring to British-Filipino singer Beabadoobee, who has previously admitted she never thought the joke name would stick. “And Shabooyeah? No wait – Shaboozey? I swear that was a game I played in Year 3.”

In a desperate search for something familiar, Swan clings  to the sight of Megan Thee Stallion like a life raft, who is probably the last of the ‘Gen Z era’ musicians she knows about.

“I used to mock older people for saying all music sounds like noise now,” says Anitha, “but now… I hear it. The noise. It’s happening to me.”

More to come.