Millennial Celebrates Paying Off HECS With Cool New Pair Of Going Out Pants

KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT

Local DJ’s are preparing to be asked to play songs by Flo Rida and David Guetta this weekend, as whispers swirl that an aging millennial might be making a return to the dance floor.

The news comes as 33 year old comms grad Lincoln Derulo is celebrating finally paying off his $45,000 HECs debt, a heavy weight he’s been carrying since 2011, when he studied a Bachelor of Communications at Betoota University.

After years of watching a decent chunk of his monthly salary go towards paying off his dumb idea to get a media degree, it’s believed recent decisions by the Albanese government to pressure hose away some HECs debt has meant Lincoln is finally in the green.

And with a little extra cash in his wallet, and a skip in his step, Lincoln has told The Advocate he’s going to treat himself to a cool new pair of going out pants.

“Mate I’m cashed up, I got extra dolla dolla bills to spend. Working in media I’m usually a skinny chino guy, but I think I might get a cool new pair of drop crutch jeans for the weekend.”

“Maybe something distressed, I could treat myself to a new pair from Ksubi!”

With many of his mates now shacked up or playing parents to a child or two, Lincoln admits it might be hard to assemble his old crew of mates from his uni days, and convince them to hang out at bars where the median age is 22.

But determined to not let the shackles of middle age clamp him, Lincoln says he’s still planning to live like he’s young again, and hide that he’s secretly battling a horrifically sore lower back, and a receding hairline.

“I don’t have the hair I used to have, so I’ll need to cover the lid with my old Will and Bear fedora. Classic Bondi style never goes out of fashion, you know, I swear Pete Murray used to wear one!”