Matrix Of Numbers In Mate’s Strava Run Suggest He’s Locking In Pretty Hard For 2026

KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT

A mate who’s recently made running his sole personality is raising eyebrows today after detailing every tiny aspect of his afternoon jog.

Will Chalmers, a 29-year-old accountant from Betoota Lakes, would be the first to admit that he’s been getting a little “comfy” of late, as he dawdles towards the big 3-0.

A bloke that gave up playing rugby after uni, Will’s been pretty relaxed about his physical fitness, playing way more FIFA and golf on his PlayStation, than actually getting outdoors and being active in the real world.

However, all Will’s sloppiness has gone out the window this year, after a recent bad run of dates inspired him to go sort his own shit out, and go get insanely ripped.

According to Will's mates, who’ve been watching his recent moves on Strava, it looks like Will’s gone “Full Brockman”.

“How much pre-workout did you slam before this?” poked one mate Ryan, after screenshotting one of Will’s runs and dropping it into a group chat.

“I don’t get what the numbers mean,” added another mate, Dunc.

“Classic Will, he’s gotta be trying to impress that chick he met at Bakery Blue Run Club” added mate Tyler, who this week spotted Will getting tagged in some park run content.

Pretty chuffed by his efforts, and nursing a swollen ankle from a poorly timed leap over a gutter, Will was coy about his need to detail the split of very kilometre and his VO max stats.

“Ha ha. Nah just a little rest day run aye boys,” replied Will, “The Betoota half-marathon is on in May. Anyone in for splitting an ice bath booking this arvo?”

More to come.