Mate Who Loves Trains And Dominates Supercoach Would Probably Be A Multimillion Dollar NDIS Case If He Was Born In 2010

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT

The one bloke in a group of mates that can instantly recall important dates and sporting statistics without looking at his phone, appears to have gotten through life without needing too much government intervention.

In fact, all he really needed was to be born into an attentive middle class family in the late 1980s.

Aside from his medicare card and HECs loans, 37-year-old Oscar Grogan hasn't really considered what other government support could be available for a man that harbours such unconventional social mannerisms.

And neither has any of his family members or close mates. This is because he comes from a time before his slightly frustrating eccentricities and intense hobbies were treated like cruel barriers to a fulfilling life.

He certainly doesn't realise that if he was born in 2010 to parents who spend too much time on Instagram, his mere existence could've resulted in a healthy pay day for a conga line of occupational therapists, specialised case workers, domestic cleaning contractors, gardeners, taxi drivers and daily support staff.

Despite his abnormal obsession with Queensland's rail network and professional wrestling, Oscar has been gainfully employed for nearly a decade as a fleet logistics manager for a major temporary fencing and portaloo rental company.

Everyone at work loves him because his unique personality offers a refreshing point of difference from the usual fuckwits that come through the door - even if it's probably best that he isn't in a customer facing role.

He's also managed to get through high school and uni without his family needing a 'customised client program' - or the hundreds of thousands of tax-payer dollars that comes with whatever the fuck that is.

His undeniable wisdom when it comes fantasy football leagues like Supercoach also makes him the life of the party - so long as the party is taking place in front of a television playing sport.

However, he's just as capable of holding court at a live music venue, as he meticulously discusses the slight but important differences between certain brands of audio equipment and stringed musical instruments.

In fact, Oscar is simply what his ageing millennial mates would refer to as an 'interesting unit' - who has ended up marrying his female equivalent - a medical emergency nurse who has read every Harry Potter book over 11 times.