Man With Tape On Nightstand Either Murderer Or Sleep Optimiser

TRACEY BENDINGER | Society | Contact

Josie Fisher thought she had hit the jackpot when she locked eyes with local footy hero Josh Fellice-Hint at one of Betoota’s bustling bars in the vibrant French Quarter. However, upon arriving at his place of residence to seal the deal, she was suddenly overcome with fear.

For on the nightstand sat a range of tapes splayed out for all to see; electrical tape, masking tape, and extra thick elastoplast strapping tape.

Fisher explains how some quick mental reasoning helped her discern whether tonight was the night her kidnapping fear would come true, or if Josh was just one of those weird mouth-taping freaks.

“Well, I figured he’s a fit guy and into all of that Wim Hoff breathing stuff, and I didn’t get murder vibes from him. There was some kind of weird edge to him but I don’t think he could kill someone, you know?”

For many health optimisers, nose breathing is seen as the correct and most efficient way to breathe. However, when we are asleep we get lazy and open our mouths to breathe like the filthy mouth-breathers we are. It’s believed if you tape your mouth, you force yourself to breathe through your nose, which is said to have countless health benefits.

When asked if she ever thought the tape was for some kinky BDSM stuff, Fisher was quick to laugh off the suggestion.

“Haha, no, he’s a missionary guy.”

More to come.