Man With A Lifetime Of Drunken Regrets Finds Solace In The Fact That He's Never Knocked Out His Mate With A Flying Chair That Was Meant For A Bouncer Out Front Of A Strip Club

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT

Forget the Australian Open, forget the brutal heatwave.

As far as anyone in this country is concerned, there is only one story to come out of Melbourne this week.

And ironically, the Australian Open and heatwave may have played somewhat of a factor in all of this.

Leaked CCTV from a gentleman's club in the CBD has treated Australia to one of the funniest drunken incidents in many, many years.

It's the type of rolling drunk shenanigans that has left a nation in hysterical laughter, while also helping many others find peace.

One veteran grogmonster, Boof Delamonte (50, sound tech) from Betoota Heights is relieved to now have a new benchmark for drunken stupidity.

"Man. I've done a lot of shit" says boof.

"But I have never fucked up that bad"

The footage shows an extremely sloppy melee unfolding on King St at around 9.20pm on Friday night - which is far too early in the evening for the type of slapstick degeneracy that took place.

It appears to have begun after two seemingly well-dressed middle aged men were ejected from Bar 20 for allegedly being offensive to dancers and other staff. Security footage shows the pair were obviously drunk enough to scuffle with the venue's physically imposing bouncers, before being pushed out onto the city's nightlife strip.

But moments later, one of the drunken fools was back at the front door apologising and pleading to be let back inside. Unaware of his friend’s decision to pivot back to grovelling, the other drunken fool reached into the dining room of a restaurant next door, grabbing a chair from the dining room.

Determined for payback he flung the chair down the street towards the bar entrance as hard as he could, clearly aiming for the bouncers.

What happened next was the funniest shit ever.

The bouncer on the door saw it coming and ducked inside. But the chair struck his mate, who was back down on the footpath, hitting him square in the head.

Security guards could be seen laughing on CCTV at the disastrous miscalculation, suspecting the missile was meant for them. The footage cuts back the chair-thrower who appears to be immediately regretting his decision.

"Imagine being those blokes" says Boof.

"That's as bad as it gets"