Man In 30s Is Not Boring And Has The Receipts To Prove It 

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT

A former partier has proven he’s still a big ol’ ball of fun even in his 30s and he’s got a fat stack of receipts to prove it too.

Once a self-described pinger rat, James Orton (34) of Betoota Heights still finds himself up at 4am, although it’s usually to drink a healthy pre-workout liquid that resembles something he once would have chundered after cones.

Although Orton still has friends from that time in his life, he only usually sees them when he’s running past them on a Sunday morning with a cheeky “on your right.”

“Yeah, I get around, I’ve marathoned in almost three continents,” stated Orton, holding his bundle of numbered marathon bibs like a mobster flicking through a wad of cash.

“You can tell the humidity of each marathon by the amount of moisture damage in each bib. I’ve kept them in a flower press before but you can never quite flatten the stories out of them.”

“This one was from a marathon in town, 42 kms. This one is from a marathon I did the year after, also 42 kms.”

“Aaah! This one was an ultra marathon! 50 kms.”

Sensing our boredom, Orton offered to pop on a round of Sodastreams for our reporting team and went as far to suggest we crack open a family sized pack of plain veggie chips.