Man At Age Where Everyone Suddenly Knows What Hip Flexors Are

TRACEY BENDINGER | Society | Contact

If Tim Jacobs needed any further evidence that he was suffering the same fate as all the broken-down third grade footy boys before him, the fact that he knows what hip flexors are and that they can be tight is it.

Following a recent trip to the physio where he tried to tough his way through a mobility assessment, Jacobs was told in no uncertain terms that he was “weak” and it was all because of his hip flexors.

“I’d maybe heard of them before,” he told our reporter. “Or maybe that was dip tester. In fact, yes, it was dip tester because we were eating french onion dip past its use by date.”

“Anyway, now every bloke I speak to seems to know what they are and that they’re either tight or weak”

The 36-year-old tech salesman is part of a sad cohort of once okay athletes who are not only in denial about their physical deterioration, but also mentally stuck in the glory days where they could just bench, bench, bench and be fine.

Nowadays Jacobs and his network of hobbling mates take weekly pilates classes – which they insist is actually way harder than it looks – and have also put in requests for standing desks because “our caveman bodies weren’t made to sit for 8 hours a day.”

More to come.