Local Woman Somehow Still Unable To Get Shit Together Despite Buying A Whiteboard For Her Room

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact

After randomly feeling a burst of inspiration at 11 o’clock at night, local hot mess Georgie Wagner has decided to get her act together and buy a bunch of random shit from Kmart.

No more shit food, no more excuses not to go to the gym. And you know what, her entire wardrobe could do with an update too. She’s thinking ‘French girl’ chic or maybe bohemian. Hmm, she should start a Pinterest. OH, and it’s time to stop wasting time scrolling Tik Tok and start educating herself instead – Ted Talks and podcasts, at least one hour a day.

Also, she really wants to get a fat ass.

Writing this all down on the massive whiteboard she’d bought to place directly across from her bed, Georgie finds herself brimming with inspiration.

“Gym five times a week, put $150 in savings every paycheck and stop eating so many carbs.”

Looking around at her dishevelled room, Georgie makes sure to add ‘make bed every morning’ to her list as well.

“Hmm, what else?”

“Oh yeah, get a boyfriend.”

It’s alleged that Georgie’s quest to become a better person lasted approximately three days, before she got so hammered at Trivia Tuesday, she had to throw up in her handbag to avoid an Uber cleaning fee.

More to come.